Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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