I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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