I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
