Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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