hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
