R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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