I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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