i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I skipped work to stalk him.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize