i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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