my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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