Cold hands, warm shart.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize