I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize