I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
