think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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