the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
