i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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