I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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