Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
