I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize