It's Friday. Sex?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
