Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
