After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
