went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
