So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
