Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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