just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
