So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
