Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
