Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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