was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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