I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
