Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
