YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
