I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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