I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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