seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
