I need help removing her.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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