It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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