someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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