you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
