I faked an abortion last night.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
