He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
