Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
