So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize