Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
