Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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