summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
