i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
