he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
