We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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