id be glad to
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
