i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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