i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
