only you would photoshop your dick
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
