the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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