the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
