Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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