what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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