I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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