you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
