I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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