Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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