she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
